Stepped, in not out
Sitting at a table that felt new yet comfortable, I remember thinking, “wow, they have matching dishes” and feeling fancy. I remember their silverware drawer having perfectly matching silver and the cool Tupperware pickle container in the fridge, and don’t get me started on the endless Schwans pizza and ice cream. And they even had a pool in their community, I surely don’t belong here.
My mom and dad were divorced and both struggling to stay afloat. Although my parents provided what we needed and wanted, this was different- a perfectly decorated house with quilts, porcelain dolls and military accolades wasn’t how either of my homes was decorated. I remember sitting on the front porch with orange juice in one of those cute matching glasses and thinking, these people really have their life together. Then, finding out my mom and her then boyfriend were getting married, and having a baby, and being told these sweet people with funny accents are now bonus grandparents.
In my parents marriage I also gained a second dad and I’d always wondered how he learned to be a dad to kids who frankly weren’t very open to this “bonus” relationship at times. How did he just love us, how did he learn to be a parent, how did he choose someone who came as a package with two kids and an ex husband. I’ve never asked those questions but after reflecting on losing gramps, I can only imagine he learned to be a dad from one of the best.
This house became familiar, summers spent at the pool, eating honey suckles, walks with grandpa who had the biggest calves I’ve ever seen. Dusting porcelain dolls with grandma and feeling like a doll sleeping in their perfectly decorated guest room.. at just 6 years old, I felt like I belonged here. Grandma always let me dress the big concrete goose on the front porch, it was the hi-light of every visit! This whole third family thing, it just worked. Honestly, it felt as though I was supposed to have three sets of family instead of two, truly a bonus!
Throughout my life, grandma and grandpa never treated any of us grandkids differently. I was always treated and introduced as their granddaughter, never “step”, never “Lorie’s daughter” but always “Mark and Lorie’s daughter”, and for that I’m eternally grateful. The hardest part of having three grandpas has been saying goodbye as each one has passed away over the past 15 years. The best part, my kids have had incredible great grandparents, one of my sons was lucky enough to share a birthday with gramps!
Gramps was a big man, a protector, stubborn as hell and hilarious, he made the BEST Rice Krispie treats in all the land but most of all, he had a heart of GOLD. You’ll be missed, I will miss your “cheese” smiles, hearing “oh my garsh” when I’d walk in the door, your “HUHHHHH?” on FaceTime and messing up your hair JUST to get the scowl.
